


The undertow

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, im sorry, no im not lol, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2769761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to rip out his insides and pretend they weren't his</p>
            </blockquote>





	The undertow

**Author's Note:**

> Have an unedited jeanmarco angsty one shot

Jean didn't let himself cry until he knew he was alone. 

Then he hunched over in the alleyway, heaving until there was nothing left in his stomach and he was simply convulsing for the sake of it. He stumbled away from the fetid puddle and slumped to the ground. His body shook with silent sobs and his breath came in short, shallow gasps. He choked on his own grief. 

No matter how many times he closed his eyes, the image of Marco's mangled body was still seared onto his eyeballs.

Blood seeping onto the ground. 

Flesh torn and jagged. 

Cloths burnt around the edges. 

And his face..... His face marred almost beyond recognition. 

Jean retched again, but felt nothing. His stomach was empty, and so was he. 

'Empty' really was the only way to describe it. He felt a great hollowing nothingness clawing at his stomach, eating away at his emotions until he felt nothing. He was numb. 

Maybe it was better that way. Better to feel nothing than the crippling pain he felt whenever he took a breath. He didn't deserve to be alive. Marco was a much better person than him, he should have been the one live. Not him. 

He was empty, but he still had more than Marco. 

He was overcome with the primal desire to rip out his insides and pretend they weren't his. 

He didn't deserve anything he had. 

The only way he could make it up to Marco would be to avenge his death. To spend the years Marco should have had killing every goddamn titan that crossed his path so no one else had to know the horror of stepping over the body of a fallen friend. No one should die at age sixteen. 

He stood up, his hands shaking, and walked out of the alley no longer empty. He was filled with something better; he was filled with the desire for revenge and an overwhelming sense of righteousness. 

He would win this battle if it was the last thing he did. 

It was the least he could do for Marco.

**Author's Note:**

> ((If anyone gets the suzan vega reference you will be my best friend forever))


End file.
